Confessions of a Virgin Sacrifice edition by Adrianne Ambrose Literature Fiction eBooks
Download As PDF : Confessions of a Virgin Sacrifice edition by Adrianne Ambrose Literature Fiction eBooks 
Sound the alarm! Saddle the horses! Wake up the village elders! The Sacrificial Virgin has escaped!
Jezebelle's voluptuous cousin Dizeray is slated for a sacrificial swan dive into the local volcano. Not if Jez can help it! She plots to rescue her cousin and find an eager candidate to 'disqualify' Diz from being this year's Virgin Sacrifice. But things to horribly wrong and now the gals are on the run with the furious Village Elders in hot pursuit!
Jez sweeps her cousin on a whirlwind adventure through the jungle and beyond with nothing but her sardonic wit and bronze brassiere at her disposal. Along the way the two Gls attract a motley cast of characters including a brooding barbarian with a decidedly un-heroic phobia, an ill-tempered troll looking for love, and a deadly blue wolf with a soft spot for Jezebelle.
This unlikely troupe stumbles head first into one wacky adventure after another, encountering love, magic, monsters and mayhem. Throughout their travels, Jez untangles clues to her True Destiny. She discovers a Forbidden Secret that threatens to unravel the very fabric of her word--or at least ruin her day.
This saucy off-beat romp will keep you laughing as you follow Jez and her friends on their first adventure.
Confessions of a Virgin Sacrifice edition by Adrianne Ambrose Literature Fiction eBooks
This was recommended to me by a couple of women in a forum I follow, so I thought I'd give it a try. It's a tongue-in-cheek satire of various fantasy genres, with a heaping dose of social commentary on the use of religion to oppress women. So far, so good. There's a lot of great humor here that is especially funny if you're familiar with the usual offerings in the genre, but plot elements tended to come and go at random and I sometimes found myself wondering "What just happened here?" At the end, several major characters simply disappear from the story and I was confused as to what would be happening next.While there are frequent references to sex, it all happens off-stage, so to speak. The story is enjoyable and I am right there with the author on pretty much all the social issues, but the storyline was a bit thin overall.
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Confessions of a Virgin Sacrifice edition by Adrianne Ambrose Literature Fiction eBooks Reviews
"I don't believe in virgin sacrifice. It encourages promiscuity at an early age." How's that for a first line? Great right? Or how about this one a few pages later? "Besides, she had large breasts, a trait frequently mistaken for beauty." Yep, that one got a laugh out of me too. Confessions of a Virgin Sacrifice is not a book to be taken seriously. It is a rip-roaring good time, but utterly and completely absurd. The main character, Jezebelle, is a paragon of dauntless sarcasm, but her wit often highlights urbane truths. It's a hoot. I lost track of how many passages I highlighted just because they were so funny.
Be that as it may, she wasn't my favourite aspect of the book. That would be Thor and Tul's bemused side comments. I could easily imagine the bewildered look on their faces as they tried to figure out the actions of others. Priceless.
I was thrown off on occasion by modern references. There I was reading along and visualising the characters as Conan the Barbarian or Red Sonia types, maybe even Beast Master and then the author would throw in a Mason jar or a frilly lacy pillow. What!? I couldn't quite reconcile their presence in the narrative.
The book is quite short and ends on a cliffhanger, though I don't know if another is planned. I almost hope one isn't. I really enjoyed this book. It works, but I could see the joke getting old if drug out for too long. I'd hate to see that happen. It's a gem just as it is. If you're looking for a laugh give this one a try. That awesome parody on the cover ought to give you an idea of what you'd be in for.
Wow. I actually had to stop reading a few times, catch my breath, and wipe tears from my eyes because I was laughing so hard. But underneath the rollicking good humor is also a fun story. This is a perfect escape book for anyone who used to be into conan or read the barbarian sci fi and fantasy books.
I wish there were a sequel. The characters are fun. The book is fast paced with adventure, hilarity, some dramatic turns and twists, and just a pleasure to read.
I've read a lot of books by non-pro authors who seem to be just writing some silly story with no attention to the actual craft of writing. Sometimes this is a good thing. Lots of amateur authors can pull things out of their bag of tricks that put the professionals to shame. And at first I didn't think this was going to be one of those books. But it is!!! The writing isn't super-slick and polished. It's more conversational in tone and often funny in a groaning kind of way. Plus I thought this cover was hilarious. So because of the cover, I got the book to see what it was about. And almost gave up on it. I just couldn't imagine this story would actually go somewhere good. The writer seemed to be going basically off into nowhere. Then LO AND BEHOLD, Ambrose pulls the aforementioned trick out of the bag and it turns out things aren't quite what they seem in this whacky little fantasy world she's created. I can't give you any spoilers, but if you just want something fun to read that won't require a lot of deep thinking, then this book might be it for you. (And yes, her jokes and puns will make you groan out load) Ambrose even provides us with some memorable literary moments. (Angry, stampeding virgins comes to mind!) Too funny! Maybe it's just me, but the second half of the book was just too good to put down. Glad I finished it. Just don't expect anything overly intellectual from this story. I mean, after all, look at that wuss-ass barbarian on the cover! How serious can this thing be? How fun can it be? I dunno, call me crazy but when an author actually manages to deliver a punchline you didn't see coming, that author deserves kudos!!! Well done, Ambrose!!!
This was recommended to me by a couple of women in a forum I follow, so I thought I'd give it a try. It's a tongue-in-cheek satire of various fantasy genres, with a heaping dose of social commentary on the use of religion to oppress women. So far, so good. There's a lot of great humor here that is especially funny if you're familiar with the usual offerings in the genre, but plot elements tended to come and go at random and I sometimes found myself wondering "What just happened here?" At the end, several major characters simply disappear from the story and I was confused as to what would be happening next.
While there are frequent references to sex, it all happens off-stage, so to speak. The story is enjoyable and I am right there with the author on pretty much all the social issues, but the storyline was a bit thin overall.
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